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5 Reasons Why You Should Resign from Your Job

Most of us would stop working if we could. We incessantly dream about it, but that’s the only thing we can do: dreaming. Working an 8-5 shift just seems unavoidable. I, Bochok Tabo, however am a master at defying the unavoidable. I look closely ‘The Foreseeable’ right in the face and call him dirty names. I say, if you like to stop working, QUIT WORKING; The following are the five reasons why you should.

1. If you leave your job you’ll have plenty of time to reading good articles such as this one. This will enable me to become a trademark name down at the Office of Unemployment and Welfare Services. My fame is a simple price in achieving your dreams. Think about this when you see me on the ‘Today Show’.

2. Quitting your job will make you feel wonderful. You’ll be in cloud nine in 10 minutes, you’ll on the top of the world, you’ll have a good life, you’ll be: -insert your own cliche here-. Then the worries start about the car note, the mortgage, the kid’s school clothes, groceries, and and how you’re going to pay the amount you owe to other companies. All this will probably depress you to the point of assisted suicide, but at least you had 10 minutes of freedom.

3. Daytime TV shows is some of the most breathtaking and captivating television around. You’ll think how you ever survived without all those documentaries, quality soap operas, judge shows, talk shows, and judge shows where you get the sinking suspicion that the judge has been paid off. When you combine this with all the informative TV ads that air during the day that will ”Get a degree from home’, ‘Make $1,000 a day answering emails’,'Learn the Internet in 2 hours’ in such exciting fields as GED preparation and septic tank scrubber’ and you’ll not just think why you didn’t leave your job sooner, you promise you won’t get back to work again.

4. In your formerly employed state you missed all those calls from colletors and billing agents. Now that you have resigned you’ll be able to sit at home in eager anticipation of these oh-so-important calls. Toss in a few telemarketers, calls from the Sheriff’s Association asking for donations, and a few of those computers that call you and ask you to ‘Hold for an important message’ and you’ll have to sit back and relax answering these calls. It’s like having a job again, without getting a salary.

5. Dragging yourself to get out of bed every morning at 5:45 in the morning is not good for your health. Your physician will proud of you that you care enough for your body to go as far as leaving your job. He will not, however, see you as a patient anymore since you don’t have health insurance. We have free clinics though, and you don’t have to worry. Waiting in this clinic young teenagers diagnosed with Gonorrhea is yet another experience you would have missed out on if you keep working on your present job.

There you have it folks. 5 raesons why you should go out and quit your job. Feel free to quote any of these reasons to your employer when you turn in your two weeks notice. If she asks where you came across such valuable information tell her that a unselfish friend gave them to you free of charge, and all I wanted in return was that you think of me when you get your septic tank scrubbed next time…

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